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by Terry Jones
p.17 The moment he saw that figure he knew, deep in his bones, with that certainty that comes of being absolutely without any doubt whatsoever that something was about to go terribly, fearfully wrong.
p.51 *It may seem odd that a civilization that had never even heard of planet Earth and certainly had no idea of its existence should use French champagne for such an occasion. The explanation is rather complicated and involves a lot of stuff about time warps and black holes and an Intergalactic Smuggling Ring. If I were you I simply wouldn't worry about it and just get on with the story.
p.62 "All robotic functions on this ship are equipped with infraviolet translation sensors which automatically scans the brain impulses of passengers for language patterns. These patterns are then rearranged inside your head so that you can understand and speak intelligibly with the ship.. You are actually speaking and understanding Blerontinian. Pretty convenient for writers of science fiction, huh?"
p.73 "But we've got to be sensible," said Dan, adopting his "I'm in charge" manner that never fooled anyone.
p.87 "Workplace Chum of Victorious Athletics Coach!"
"Persipacious Lady Orthodontist!"
p.101 "Shit!" he said. The actual Blerontinian phrase was: "North of Pangalin," which was a particularly unpleasant suburb of Blerontis, the capital of Blerontin, but the meaning was: "Shit!"
p.101 "You're an alien, aren't you?" she suggested, as they waited for the Doorbot to open the door to the Second Class Area.
"No," replied The Journalist. "You're an alien. This is a Blerontinian ship in case you haven't noticed."
p.102 "Nitrogen-Loathing Respecters of Pressed Veal!"
p.152 "...Raguliten, desembo, Luntparger, Forzab, Kakit, Zimwiddy, Duterprat, Katzinker-Rigitpitil, Pruzenhakken, Roofcleetop, Splanglowiddin, Buke-Hammadorf, Bunzlywotter, Brudelhampon, Harzimwodl, Unctimpoter, Golholiwol, Disneynewt, Tidoloft, Cossimiwip, Onercrocodil, Erklehammerdrat, Inchbewigglit, Samiliftodt, Buke-Willinujit (he's a cousin of Buke-Hammadorf)..." "Hi, Nettie!" said one of the Yassacan invaders.
"Barnzipewt," continued Bolfass, "Sphighalliwiller, Memsiportim, Itkip, Harlorfreytor, Pullijit, Beakelmemsdork, Uppelsaftat, Bukhumster, Poodalasvan, Sumpcreetorkattleburt..."
p.154 "Oh, bomb!" said Nettie. "This is Nettie. Remember me?"
"Er... One..." said the bomb.
"How many fours make eight?"
"Er... er... Zeee..."
"No... How many fours make up eight?"
"Er... er... two?" said the bomb.
"How many twos in six?"
"Three..." said the bomb.
"And how many times does three go into twelve?"
"Four..." said the bomb. It paused for a moment and then continued: "Five, six, seven..."
p.197 "If we ever get back to Earth, I'm going to tear his balls off!" --Lucy
NAMES: Yassaccan, Antar, Droot, Brobostigon, Flortin, Scraliontis, Rimanquez, Bolfass, Yartak, Edembop, Ponkaliwack